At the end of last year, renovations to Nana plaza wrapped up and the new and improved Banana Plaza was unveiled to the world. The reason why it is now called Banana Plaza is because of the yellow paint job that brightens up the area. Actually Stickman Bangkok wrote an article about the transformation and jokingly called it Banana Plaza, and the name stuck. I call it Banana Plaza for another reason, and it has nothing to do with the color yellow.

As long as I remember, there have always been a few ladyboy bars in the Nana plaza area. However recently there seem to be more than I can recall. As a matter of fact, out of the 20 plus bars in the Nana area, there are about 10 bars that are fully or partially stocked with ladyboys. This is one of the turnoffs for me personally when mongering in Bangkok, simply because if I want to go out and monger for girls, I don’t want to be hounded by a bunch of aggressive katoeys packing bananas. In the Nana area, there is no getting away from that.

Now most of us long time mongerers know how the women and their attitude have been declining for quite some time. Does that mean that more men are jumping ship from the ladies and heading into switch hitter mode and the ladyboys are now becoming more popular? Who really knows, but the ladyboys are out in large numbers in this area for a reason. That reason is they must have customers. The ladyboy bars in Nana seem to be doing rather well, as well as the freelancers.

There are always a mix of ladyboys and girls who freelance at the entrance to Nana. If you hang out at one of the beer bars in front of Nana and simply people watch, it’s always interesting to watch the difference between the women and the ladyboys. The police have been trying to rid the area of freelancers by request of some of the bar owners, however they keep returning. So if you watch the ladyboys, they will hustle and hustle. Conversely, the girls basically stand back and chat with each other and hope that a punter will come up and chat to her.

So the new Banana Plaza is definitely finding its legs once again. After the transformation, punters have returned to the area in full force, ladyboys and all. The place had been going downhill and they decided to renovate the place with much success. The beer bars in front have undergone a makeover as well, and the overall atmosphere seems to be profitable. I am not a huge fan of the area; I would rather hit up Soi Cowboy, but each to their own. Banana Plaza is the new name that will stick to this ever popular entertainment district, and not because it’s yellow.

Jomtien Beach is located on the southern side of Pratamnak (Big Buddha) hill. This hill creates a natural geographical barrier between the two beach towns. Back in the 1970’s, basically the only way to reach this stretch of beach was by a short boat ride around Pratamnak hill. Now if you take a Baht bus, you can reach Jomtien in about 10 to fifteen minutes. In the mid 1980’s is when the first hotels and resorts started to spring up in Jomtien.

Located along a 6 km stretch of beach, Jomtien is actually a much nicer, more relaxing beach than Pattaya’s shrinking main beach. It may not live up to the expectations of some of the tourists that may visit. After all, it doesn’t quite fit the picturesque images that some may have of beautiful Thai beaches, and the water quality could be better, but it is adequate and one of the main draws to town. You can enjoy banana boat rides, windsurfing, water skiing, parasailing and scuba diving. On holiday weekends beware, Bangkokians love to flock to Jomtien so make travel plans accordingly. There still is an abundance of vendors on the beach and plenty of loud motorboats and jet-skis in the area, but any popular tourist destination in Thailand has the same issues.

This century has brought tremendous growth to Jomtien Beach. Residential villages and condominiums have exploded in this part of Thailand making it one of the more popular areas for ex-pats to reside. It seems that construction has been non-stop for about the last decade and a half. Along with that, there has also been an increase in guesthouses, restaurants, bars and nightspots. It definitely doesn’t compare to the sheer amount that Pattaya has to offer, but if you decide to stay in a more tranquil area, Jomtien is it. There is one main road (Jomtien Beach Road) that runs North and South. Off of that the Sois are numbered 5, 7 etc. and some are given names (Soi Whitehouse) similarly to Sois in Pattaya (Soi Diana).

Along Jomtien Beach road, you will find many of the same things that you would find in Pattaya. Pharmacies, souvenir shops, minimarts, travel agencies, traditional massage parlors, money exchange booths, real estate agencies, seafood and international restaurants. Most of the shops here are small in nature and tend to cater towards beach clothing and souvenirs. So if you want the megamalls, hop on over to Pattaya for those.

The nightlife in Jomtien is much quieter that Pattaya. Having said that, it still has around 100 beer bars and We Are No. 1 go-go bar, which is located near the Dongtan police box. It is across from Country Road III bar on Thappraya Road if you are interested in checking it out. There is a large open air beer bar complex near Rompho market across from Soi 5 on Jomtien second road and the prices for barfines and ladies are similar to what you would pay in Pattaya’s beer bars which is 300 Baht for the barfine, and then about 1000 Baht for the girl. However the prices for the girl are always negotiable so it may be more or less depending on who you are dealing with. If you are looking for freelancers, just head down to Beach road. You will find the same a similar scene to Beach Road in Pattaya, ladyboys and all so you have been warned. Ultimately if you want to relax and enjoy the beach more on your holiday, but still want quick and easy access to girls and entertainment, Jomtien Beach is a place worth checking out.

At the moment, the Baht is below 29 to 1 against the U.S. Dollar for the first time since I moved here back in 2007. When I came here it was in the 35 to 1 range and even went to 37 to 1 at one point, and since has made a slow and steady decline. Now I’m not going to get into reasons why the Baht is gaining in strength (money printing by Central Banks in the west), just how it affects foreigners. Regardless if you are exchanging the British Pound, The Euro, the U.S Dollar or another western currency, you have been taking a pounding if you are in Thailand and have to exchange your currency to the Baht.

If you’re travelling here for holiday, it’s more expensive. If you’re living here and are relying on income from home, you’re feeling the squeeze big time. However if you are living here and earning Baht, especially a substantial amount, you aren’t worried at all, actually you may be secretly cheering the scenario.

Let’s look at how this affect the bar scene, which is the reason most people visiting this site are concerned about. Not only has western currencies taken a shit, prices in some of the go-go bars are going up as well, smacking you with a double whammy. For instance, if you go in somewhere like What’s Up go-go and order a beer and it’s 165 Baht, that’s about $5.75. If you pay a barfine of 1500 for some a contract girl, that will set you back about $52 just to take her home. Then if she charges you 4000 Baht long time, that’s another $138. So if you have a hard on for a contract girl, and are hell bent on taking her for the night, and you have two beers in any go-go bar, you will blow $200 just like that. No food, no room included!

Now that example is on the high end of the scale. You can still go out and find reasonable drink prices (sometimes 40 to 50 Baht) and bar fines (300 Baht) in beer bars. But it just goes to show you that after you spend money on a plane ticket, your accommodation and food, the fun stuff is starting to really shoot up, especially on Walking Street. Ex-pats have been changing their habits and trying to make their money go farther. There are always ways to make it last, but what are people willing to sacrifice? The girls and the nightlife are one of the main draws in the first place. Without that stuff, many ex-pats wouldn’t be here in the first place.

Will the Baht’s strength scare off punters from travelling to Thailand? Maybe a bit, but I doubt it. It takes a lot to put off guys who want to indulge in the debauchery that can be found with the LBFM’s found in the LOS. Some may decide to give Angeles City in the Philippines a try, which is a nice alternative. But the Philippine Piso is gaining strength against the dollar and other western currencies as well. However, bar fines (girls) and drinks remain cheaper in the Philippines, the hotels overall are more expensive than what can be found in Pattaya. Ultimately punters will still find ways to get their ass here. The root of the problem is and always will be the true parasites of human society, the Central Bankers! Although that is another story for another time.

Crackdown hubbub never ends!

A couple of weeks ago, there was a meeting between the BIB (led by Colonel Suwan) and bar owners discussing the enforcement of closing times. He explained that tough new guidelines from the Ministry of the Interior were requiring all bar owners to comply with the conditions of their licenses. These stipulations state that all bars within the Pattaya entertainment zone must be shut by 2 A.M. and all venues outside of the entertainment zone must shut at midnight. Other issues that were mentioned were complying with age restrictions and issues involving illicit drugs. The police are telling bar owners that if anyone is found with narcotics inside of a particular venue, the bar owners will be found responsible.

Is this more saber-rattling by the BIB? Probably! They tend to keep doing these things time and time again. Making it look like they are doing their job in the press, while they are able to line their pockets and keep it business as usual. Could you imagine closing bars at these times? I can’t either and I don’t see it happening.

Keep these tips in mind.

Guys, when visiting Pattaya, it’s not necessary to impress her with your hotel room, expensive restaurants and displays of cash. It is not going to get you better service from the girl and might even do the opposite.

Whenever you have some doubt, there should be no doubt, get out! If you have doubt about a girl’s age, it’s best to consider her underage. If you have doubt that she is a girl, just consider her a guy. If you doubt her sobriety, consider her high on drugs. If you doubt her sanity… well I can’t help you there. They are all nuts!

Mongering is not meant to be your life, just spice it up. However, not everyone adheres to this.

Five things you will never hear a Pattaya girl say!

1. Let’s go to the museum.

2. Here is the money I borrowed plus interest.

3. Rice? No thank you.

4. Fuck my ass!

5. I love poetry.

Yes folks, it’s almost Songkran time again in the LOMM and every time an official publicly puts forth a new policy that they say is aimed at protecting people, the BS is recognized exactly for what it is. Songkran is the Thai New Year holiday where fine citizens of the intellectual hub of the universe celebrate with family and friends by getting together and throwing water and powder on each other. It begins on April 13^th and ends on April 15^th in most places around the kingdom. However some places like Pattaya, it drags on where their biggest day of celebration is on the 19^th.

With all of the good things that surround the Songkran holiday, the bad that comes along with it is the death toll that’s racked up on Thailand’s highways every year. It is referred to as the “seven dangerous days” of Songkran. As people travel back and forth to their province to celebrate with their family, accidents on the highways skyrocket. So this year, to try and reduce accidents and general danger to the overall population, the government has decided to restrict alcohol consumption in parts of Bangkok and other provinces.

Now I understand the authorities trying to implement measures to cut down on avoidable deaths. But what they are proposing this year is totally absurd, and will not accomplish anything that they say they are trying to accomplish. The authorities have stated that they are going to strictly prohibit alcohol and consumption in the following areas. In Bangkok: Khao San Road, Rama Nine, and the Silom Road area are deemed dry areas. Parts of Pattaya (not sure which parts) and Phuket have also been targeted to be alcohol free. In the aforementioned areas, you will be allowed to enter as long as you park you vehicles outside of the “safe” zone boundaries. Anyone caught driving or riding in a car while under the influence of alcohol will be subject to six months’ imprisonment or a THB 30,000 fine. Police are also going to set up about 12,000 checkpoints throughout Thailand to help bring down alcohol-related fatalities on the highways.

I fully understand checkpoints throughout the nation trying to crackdown on drunk drivers, if they actually did their job. Usually they just want money and that doesn’t help curb the problem. But their other proposal is what makes me use the moniker LOMM. Firstly, traffic deaths don’t really occur in the areas they have targeted to be dry areas. Khao San Road, Silom, parts of Pattaya and Phuket are basically tourist areas. Why would you target tourist areas? Unless you want to fleece money from them of course. Yes, if you noticed, they said anyone DRIVING or RIDING in a car while under the influence is subject to six months imprisonment or a a THB 30,000 fine. Does that apply to everyone throughout the kingdom, or just to tourists in those areas? Not really sure, it’s rather vague, but it leaves the door wide open for police to take full advantage and line their pockets.

Most traffic fatalities occur on the highways when people are travelling to and from visiting their families in their province, not in the areas that have been targeted. Secondly, not many people are driving in Khao San, Pattaya, Silom during Songkran. They are on foot. But what I would like to know, as it was worded by the authorities, if someone is drunk, in a taxi, can you fine them? Are they going to be targeted? Well you could be, but who really knows. If the police want money (and they always do) and you’re an easy target, better have your wallet ready.

The checkpoints around the nation may help a bit (lol), curbing alcohol consumption in parts of Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket is absolutely absurd. If you want to cut down on road fatalities, why don’t you just ban driving, or cars? That would solve your problem. I’m being sarcastic of course. The fact is that drivers in this nation aren’t properly trained and drive like idiots. Putting up checkpoints and other measures just try to make the authorities look like they are doing something to solve the problem, which they are not. In fact, they take advantage of the situation and allow officers to target tourist areas with petty laws which opens up a can of worms. So when the (bogus) numbers are released to the public, you can bet that the government will make sure that the results make them look good. And the saga of the LOMM continues.

I’m not one to usually talk about relationship issues. I tend to talk more about the partying and mongering aspect of Pattaya as well as other parts of Thailand. But there are many people who either ex-pats living here and are dating a Thai girl, or people that have visited the LOS, met a girl, fell in love, and now want to bring her back to their country that need to know something about Thai women. For all the things that may draw you to them in the first place, there may be one thing that makes you run for the hills faster that a cat can lick its ass. That is the history that this culture has amongst the female population of cutting of a man’s cock after they have been humiliated.

If you are unaware of the history that Thai women have with the act of pulling a “Bobbitt”, then you may want to listen up. The reason why I bring this up is because there was an incident that happened recently in Banglamung, which is just north of Pattaya, where a woman bit her man’s penis during sex so hard that she almost bit it completely off. The reason she said, was that she knew her boyfriend brought a girl to the house, however when she came home, he was alone and there was no sign of a girl. So instead of confronting him about this “other” girl (Thai logic), she decided to give him a little oral pleasure, but then she went bat shit crazy and decided she was hungry and had a craving for hot dog, minus the bun, mustard and onions.

Now I bring this up for a few reasons. First of all, she worked in a beer bar meaning she’s a bar girl. So for all of you out there who have bar girl girlfriends and like to muck around on them, you have been warned. Even though they work as prostitutes, they still don’t like to lose face, and that is huge in this culture. Secondly, they don’t really view themselves as prostitutes; it’s just a job (that happens to involve sex from time to time). So even though she may be selling her body for money, that doesn’t mean you can go out and fuck around on her. Third, they have a history of blowing up and going after a man’s genitals for revenge, whether they work in the sex industry or not.

There was a time when it became fashionable in Thai society (1970’s) for women to seek revenge for humiliating her by taking a kitchen knife to their husband’s penis after he fell asleep. A traditional rural Thai home is elevated on pilings and may have pigs, chickens or ducks that live under the house. So there is a standing joke amongst all levels of Thai society that is well understood. If a man says “I better get home or the ducks will have something to eat” then, well you get the drift of the joke referring to his wife cutting off his wanker. Does this unorthodox tradition still happen? Maybe not to the extent that it used to, but the woman who tried to snack on her boyfriend’s Oscar Mayer wiener means that is hasn’t died out completely. You also may note that Thailand leads the world in penis reattachment surgery if that tells you anything about this phenomenon.

So why would a woman want to do such a cockamamie thing as to off her husband’s dick? Well, it probably is the most important thing that a man has. Men express power and pleasure through the cock, it is the drive for living, and what probably drove you to this website in the first place. By cutting it off, a woman has carried out the greatest punishment on a man possible. Death would actually be kinder. So I guess it’s not such a cockamamie thing to do after all and shows the vindictiveness that some Thai women may harbor internally.

This gets back to my relationship point. If you’re in a relationship, or want to be in one with a Thai woman, understand this point. For all the niceties and politeness that Thai women offer, they do have a dark side. They will go bat shit crazy from time to time and you have to be ready for that. Is it because in Thai culture they hold everything for so long and then just explode in a fit of rage? Possibly, but they are also women and no matter what culture they come from, men still  haven’t been able to figure them out. So if you have been fucking around on your Thai bird and think she doesn’t know, you may want to hide or lock up the cutlery before you go to bed, or knock her teeth out before she gives you the next blowjob. This will avoid the hassle of ending up in small claims court!

So have you had the pleasure of being with a truly talented squirter? I mean one that could ruin the electrical equipment in your room if she gets out of control? More than likely you haven’t. I’m sure there is quite a large segment of men that have never had a squirter and that maybe doesn’t even want to experience one. As I say, to each their own. But for those of you who have a fetish for little brown squirting machine or are just  curious about a girl that gushes like Niagara Falls, have I got a girl for you.

There is a bar on 3rd road and Soi Diana. It’s kind of out of the way, especially for the two week millionaires who tend to spend most of their time and money on Walking Street. It’s not a fancy bar with naked girls everywhere, but what it does have is a girl that will give you the ultimate squirt experience and she has the perfect name. Her name is Naughty, and if you are looking for a squirt experience, this is the girl to get. But let me warn you, you had better be prepared for what she is about to dish out.

The first thing you have to think about is where you want to experience her talents. Do you want to take her back to your room? Well, unless you fancy sleeping in a swimming pool, that might not be the best idea unless you prepare properly. If so make sure you cover all electrical equipment, TV  DVD player, your phone or computer etc. with a plastic tarp. You can buy these at Big C for about 200 Baht or so. You may also want to get a pair of goggles to protect your eyes from any unwanted complications. Trust me, you’ll need them. My recommendation would be just to find a cheap short time hotel and take her there, leave all you belongings in the bathroom and shut the door and let her fire at will. It’s definitely a site to see.

For those punters that know of other squirters around town, don’t be shy. Leave a comment and share your info on who and where she works. There aren’t that many around, especially ones that pack the punch that Naughty does. For the rest of you who are not into this sort of thing, don’t go chasing waterfalls.

Well to say there has ever been a time where trafficking hasn’t happened in some form or fashion in this part of the world would be naive  Most people don’t come here looking for underage girls, but there are some obviously that do. And where there is a market, there is always someone filling that need; for a profit of course.

On February 20^th, it was reported that two women were arrested and charged with trying to pimp an 11 year-old girl Cambodian girl on Soi Cowboy. One woman, Ms. Pao was a Cambodian national while the other woman, Ms Chatsiri was Thai. They arranged to take the victim to a guest house to meet a 65 year-old Swedish tourist to provide sexual services. They simply arranged the first meeting at Soi Cowboy with the Swedish man, so it wasn’t like this 11 year old girl was working at a bar in Soi Cowboy. As usual, both women denied that they were trafficking the girl. Ms Pao claimed that the child was simply left in her care. She also claimed that the Swedish man also contacted her about buying sex from the girl but that Ms Pao didn’t charge him any money. While Ms. Chatsiri claimed that she just charged the man 3000 Baht to be his interpreter and had no knowledge that he bought sexual services from the underage girl, all very believable scenarios (sarcasm) and nothing else to see here.

Back in January in the Lat Phrao district of Bangkok, a 25 year old woman, Ms. Kanyaphuk, was charged with running a child prostitution ring. She was busted on Soi Lat Phrao 122 after supplying a 15 year old girl for sexual services to undercover officers. Police had received reports that Ms Kanyaphuk was operating the ring and set up a sting. They offered 2000 Baht for the girl. Of course Ms Kanyaphuk said the girl sold herself voluntarily. However she claimed it had only happened five times and that she only took 500 Baht for herself as a finder’s fee. She would then go out and spend that money on meth.

Moving on to Pattaya, on March 15^th a Walking Street manager was arrested for employing underage girls. Ms. Wanlapa (28 years old) was working at Nui’s Club 2 go-go when she was arrested. Police sent in an undercover agent and asked to buy one of the dancers who was 16 years old. Following that arrest there ended up being other dancers in the bar that were underage as well. Ms Wanlapa claimed that she had just become manager a couple of months ago and didn’t know that the girls were underage.

These are just few incidents that have happened recently, but don’t think that it still isn’t happening, we all know it is. These are also not trafficking rings that are elaborate in nature. They are the low end of human trafficking, isolated situations.  The situation on Walking Street is interesting because I’m sure the punters here would like to know if there are other bars on Walking Street that have underage girls. To my knowledge, I’m not exactly sure. I would say that most are probably on the up and up, but I don’t rule anything out. You never know how many girls come in and use a fake I.D and get hired. From my experience, I haven’t seen too many girls that I would question about being under 18; however, if I were in the Philippines (Angeles City) that would be a different matter.

Now The Cavern just closed down only a few months ago, I believe around the end of October (2012) or close to that time. And like I said before when I wrote about the closure, I didn’t shed a tear. I also said in that article and I quote “I smell an upscale establishment with high drink prices and outrageous bar fines.” Now we have Sensations in its place. The skinny on it is that it can be a bit of a mixed bag. Depending on what you are looking when you go in you may be delighted or disappointed. But was I right on my prediction? You betcha!

The best thing about the newly opened club is the talent level. They definitely (at the moment) have probably one of the best, if not THE BEST lineup in town. Just on that fact alone will get many guys to walk in the door. Now remember it has only been open for about a month and it is still high season. So we will see how long that lasts.

When I walked in the door the first thing I noticed was space. Space in go-gos is about as rare as finding a Hollywood actress that hasn’t had plastic surgery. You have to walk through a rather large empty space (it looks like they could fit another stage there) just to get back to the only two stages they have. And once you do get back there and find a seat, you aren’t cramped. There is a row of seating on the right and two-tiered seating on the left side of the stages. It was also packed so there are plenty of people visiting and when there are hot chicks, the word spreads like wildfire.

Now don’t expect to go in and see a bunch of bare naked ladies running around and doing some of the shenanigans you may find in other go-gos around town. So to a segment of the punter population this go-go won’t be appealing. There are no play mats with girls hitting each other with their rubber play toys, bathtub activities or beaver shots of women hanging from iron rings. There is a mix of go-go girls in their bikinis that dance on stage, and then there are a lot of coyote / agency girls. When there are agency girls in the house, the bar fines are going to be through the roof.

The bar fines here for these special (agency) ladies are 1500 Baht before the witching hour of midnight, and then after midnight they drop to a measly 1000 Baht. That fact alone cuts out many punters because they simply won’t pay that price for a bar fine for any girl. The regular go-go girls are priced at 600 Baht for their bar fine so that is at least a normal price. The beers are priced accordingly for Walking Street nut there is no happy hour which is a bit of a bummer. The music was good and not so loud that you couldn’t hear someone speaking to you, which was nice. I would definitely tell people to stop in and check out the talent. That’s because things change rapidly in Pattaya and you may go in there in the next month or two and many of them hotties may be gone. So if you are in town at the moment or coming soon, drop in to Sensations and have a drink.

What’s Up is decorated similarly to Heaven Above with the all white theme for their furniture. In the back of the club there is a shower / tub area where naked girls are doing their bathing routine surrounded by stools so you can enjoy the action up close. In the center of the club is a slightly elevated stage that has swing handles hanging from the ceiling that come into use during their shows. The shows are definitely worth a look by the way. There are also play beds on the sides of the club surrounded by lounges. So in this rather cozy space, a lot of shit is happening.

When you walk into the club you first thing you notice is that there is a lot going on; that makes it popular with both ex pats who live here, and the two-week millionaires enjoying their holiday from their boring, mundane lives in their homeland. You will also notice that the overall talent level in this club compares with any other go-go in Pattaya. That is the main reason why it is always so crowded. However the downside is the prices. From prices on drinks, ladies drinks, bar fines, and prices girls charge for ST and LT, there is no go-go in Pattaya that will suck more Baht from your wallet quicker.

So why is What’s Up so expensive? They use a lot of agency girls which drives up the prices on everything. They get a lot of good looking girls this way, but at a price. This also changes the dynamic from the perspective of both the punter and the girl. From the girls viewpoint, she doesn’t really have to get bar fined much at all to make a good monthly wage. Therefore she can charge some really high prices and if someone wants to pay her for it then fine. From the punters viewpoint; make sure you have plenty of baht in your pocket if you want to stay for awhile. If you have no problem paying the high bar fine remember if you decide to pull the trigger in this joint just remember that you are NOT guaranteed to get better performance this way, but you can get a hot chick.

The good thing about the prices is that it keeps talent in the bar late. When other bars best talent has already been picked over and seems half empty, this bar is still packed with hot pussy. That’s a good thing for the late night mongerer. Try going in there about 1 AM and see how easy it is to find a seat then you’ll know what I’m talking about. However not everyone likes this concept therefore it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

If you're lucky, you may catch her in What's Up.

Overall I would say anyone who hasn’t stepped foot into What’s Up has to go at least once. The show that is done on center stage where about five to six girls are hanging from the rings (totally naked) and licking each other at the same time is a must see. The service staff is good and friendly (all are typical Toms) which is better than some of the bars like Happy or Baccara that have an all male staff. The talent is the main draw and the reason you must visit. Whether you should bar fine someone from What’s Up is strictly up to you and your budget. I have not bar fined anyone from here and probably won’t in the future. I can find plenty of hot girls around town at a much better rate than what is offered here.